I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
