I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
