i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize