sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
