Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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