I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
