using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
