he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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