I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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