I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
