small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
