The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
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