If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize