Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Your mouth is God's brothel.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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