Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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