My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
