Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
