She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
