eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Randomize