I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
