Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Screw disneyland. This military base is the happiest place on earth. Even unnatractive dudes are completely fuckable in those uniforms, im never leaving
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
