just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
