why didn't you poke me back
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
