Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
