went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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