Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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