He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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