the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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