I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
