I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
