It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize