She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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