There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Holy shit dude........stairs
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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