i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
Randomize
