Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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