Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
two words: eviction party
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
