I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
