dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
