just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
