I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
