tell your sister to shave her snatch
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
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