"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
