What did we do last night that was yellow?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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