woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Randomize
