Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
