My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
