Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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