About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
