Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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