Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Randomize
