He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
this hospital has no fireball
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
