What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
