i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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