he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
Randomize
