it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
