I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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