tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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