I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize