There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
