garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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