these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
