I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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