i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
