big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
