is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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