Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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