So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
ttyl tear gas
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
