Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
