Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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